WATSON: Remember when Daniel Day-Lewis was president and he was talk—
ME: That was Abraham Lincoln, and Daniel Day-Lewis is an actor who played him.
WATSON: Whatever…So, remember when Daniel was talking to this guy, and the guy was like, “You look like you have aged ten years in this last year alone.”?
ME: Uh…yes. And?
WATSON: Nothing. That was just a good scene, that’s all.
WATSON: I mean, I think you look great for your age!
ME: For my age?
WATSON: You have two children old enough to vote. That takes a while.
ME: I wish it had taken longer, if you want to know the truth.
WATSON: Yeah, everybody says that. I know what you mean though. One year I’m seven, the next I’m a fourteen year-old struggling with hormones, and by Christmas I’ll be old enough to drink. It all goes by so fast. I could be in one of those old ALPO commercials. “Here’s a handsome fella named Watson. He’s three years old. That’s twenty-one to you and me!”
ME: Thank you for the calculus lesson, Lorne Greene.
When you lay it out like that, though, I can see how you’d want to make the most of the day.
WATSON: That’s why dogs live in the moment, baby. You should try it.
ME: Yeah, I probably should.
WATSON: But if we were talking future, you know who I want to play me in the movie of us after I’m gone. Dan—
ME: Daniel Day-Lewis. Right. Gotcha.
WATSON: That guy can be anyone!